Off work

So I am off work – docs gave me 2 weeks line but because I am on probation I don’t get paid so I had to take holidays instead. I’m half way through my time off and am not sure what I should be really doing. I keep asking myself what can I do today but all I find myself doing is sleeping until 2pm and watching greys anatomy (which is amazing).

I think my real issue here is how are people with a mental illness meant to get better if they can’t get time off work to heal. After I go back on Monday I need to be healed otherwise I’ve just wasted my holidays for the year for what? To laze about and watch tele? Or is that what I really needed? I’m not very sure. I have bills and a flat to pay for I cannot exactly go on the sick to make my mental health better if my financial situation is gonna be jeopardised because of it. That’s only going to make that head of mine go even more crazy worrying about how I will manage my bills. I use to work in the debt side of things so I know what can happen to you if you don’t pay, which I couldn’t handle.

Why is it so hard to get better?

 

Us mental health people just can’t seem to win. How does being in work with depression going to help? Sometimes it does don’t get me wrong it’s better to be busy and distracted and to be honest life is about going out and working and paying to live so you can’t get use to not doing that otherwise it’s going to be harder to come back out of. I just feel there should be something in place for people with mental health, more support, a go to person, someone with the skills to help you do what’s best for u, which won’t effect your position or job and will help you beat it. Each company should have someone like this to help you, someone that will understand because not every manager or boss will but that would only make u worse if u had a boss/manager that didn’t understand. It puts more pressure on you and could possibly make you more unwell.

Bit of late night thoughts for yous.

 

I actually still can’t get over that people have looked at my previous posts, they have taken the time out of their lives to read about mines which makes me realise your not alone, people are out there looking for similar stories and I hope people still continue to do so and still support it.

 

Thanks xx